“Running into one another
Feelings come flooding back again
You say you've been with many others
But that it never tastes the same
And now you don't know how to feel
Wiping tears from your eyes
Nothing never felt so real
Since the death of you and I”
Not my type! You’ve thought that many times in the prevailing market in relationships and feelings. An intelligible conviction matured by reason, or perhaps just a gut feeling. A kind of certainty that you have carried around with you for years, a closed door to the free world of possibilities.
You know that confusing friendship and love can be simple. And often you just don’t have the energy to throw yourself into the fray, once again, to give and receive the blows, for the simple, childish desire to look elsewhere.
Albert Einstein – in addition to speculative genius he possessed a biting sense of humour – said that “those who are not able to open their minds, had better not open their mouths”, and so not express opinions. In fact, “the mind that opens to a new idea never returns to its previous size,” and it’s true, damn true.
So one day everything changes. And you feel like getting lost again, on a rainy May in a forest of young oaks. Which is no longer the forest of being eighteen, burnt and dusty, as unreasonable as your thoughts. And the dark, brooding sky breaks through vertically, tearing its cover in a thousand passages and turning to ultra-white, with a light that is more than a heavenly sign. Like the very pale skin of a radiant noblewoman in love, cloaking the chained and enchanted forms of the hills, like artificial paradises of an altered reality, of a world made of untold, inconceivable liberties.
If you have tried all this – or maybe even less, since a hot dawn in a bourgeois life can lead to the blackest perdition – then you are ready! You can throw yourself into the river of great swimmers but, you know, rushing waters can lead to death.
If you unwrap that chocolate with the gold wrapper, even if you have a full stomach and you feel like sleeping a thousand years, you could discover a new world, and the realm of possibility will come back to light the way. And you will be free again, as in that forest at eighteen.